and yet still, things have managed to happen.

in part, this is a blatant lie – in part, this is truth.

truth, because clearly, things could not have failed to happen or a year’s time would not have passed. a lie, because clearly, nothing notable has managed to grace the hours of the last year of my life.

i have, however, recently embarked on what some may call a fabulous journey. others may disagree slightly on the exact terminology. i just think it’s torture, pure and simple. i can only be referring to the law school application process, of course. nothing to report on yet, but i do not doubt there will be more to come on this subject.

probably the more exciting of the recent events, however, would include the procurement of several small, furry animals. i’m not much for animals, as anyone can tell, but the new house/boyfriend came furnished with one. after warming up to said cat, i decided she was lonely and needed a playmate (read: i was insanely jealous that i did not have a kitten i had raised from very small). we got another cat, i had a dream about naming her, and that was that.

still, i find it even more amazing that i have managed to live down here for over a year. i’ve only experienced a few sleepless nights, where i imagine cockroaches are crawling the walls of my house, but they still exist. and yet i still exist. incomprehensible, i know.

as unbelievable as it may seem, the cats, too, understand the unsettling nature of these creatures. put a lizard in the living room, a billion-ipede in the kitchen, neither cat will fail to take notice. a whole production of stalk and chase and pounce will invariably ensue. put a cockroach in the living room, even the younger, naïve-r of the two will move out of a palmetto’s path.

and yet still, the coexistence of cockroach and man (read: me) remains one of life’s mysteries.

 

all sorts of animals band together and plot my death.

so i still haven’t gotten used to the giant cockroaches. and there have been a few incidents with the palmettos. we’re on a first name basis now. the lizards aren’t too bad unless they’re in my apartment and sitting atop of a place i need to get to.

last week, i actually squished a lizard with my bare hands (read: lightly squeezed a malnourished, dying, microscopic gecko inside half a roll of paper towel) because it was in my way. i mean, really, what else was i supposed to do? i needed to get something from one of the many boxes i have still yet to unpack and he was not moving from the top of it.

i was later informed not to kill the lizards because they eat the bugs. must be karma, because a few days later i strolled into the apartment after a long, hard day at the office only to find the apartment crawling with bugs (read: there was one dead palmetto in the corner). silly south florida with all its crazy animals.

on another note, i visited the keys this past weekend and touched animals on purpose. i don’t actually have photographic proof, but i do have someone to vouch for me if necessary. in any event, i went to what we’ll just refer to as the local watering hole for fishers and tourists alike and threw small fish off a dock into water teeming with giant man-eating monstrosities called tarpon. one nearly took my foot off after i mistakenly hung it over the edge of the dock. the brochures tell me that tarpon are “acrobatic.” i just call them huge and scary. i also screamed like a little girl as a two year old next to me giggled and stuck his face over the edge.

fun fact: tarpon do not have teeth.

 

real life sex and the city

as my friends and i sat around an outdoor table having dinner saturday night, we suddenly realized we were acting out our own version of the show we knew all too well–sex and the city. there, of course, just happened to be four of us, and i easily identified the characters of the show among the four of us. we also just happened to be in philly, instead of nyc–but they’re both technically cities, so we’ll ignore this small detail.

life, boys, sex, food and wine were all topics of discussion. we also secretly, or not so secretly, were spying on the cute italian waiter. after our discussion of, and frustration with, the lack of men in our lives, and the realization of our situation being played out as a real life satc episode, there was only one thing left to do. yes, i left my business card (being the only one with an actual card) for the waiter with a note on the back telling him to “call us if he’d like to join the party after dinner.”

i’ve yet to decide whether or not this was a wise move on my part. fortunately (or unfortunately, as far as my friends were concerned) he never called.

 

i guess it’s finally time

after years, er, some amount of time, of avoiding writing a blog, i’ve finally come to my senses. let’s be honest, i keep fairly current, i like to talk about stuff and i feel it’s very important that everyone know my opinions, sometimes.

this, to much of my readers’ disappointment, will mostly be musings of the terribly interesting life i lead’s events. i will, however, from time to time post concerning issues or topics i feel particularly passionate about, albeit humorous. feel free to debate me on any of said topics.

so sit back, relax and enjoy the show, er, something?

amber and ashley in, well, the city.