truth, because clearly, things could not have failed to happen or a year’s time would not have passed. a lie, because clearly, nothing notable has managed to grace the hours of the last year of my life.

i have, however, recently embarked on what some may call a fabulous journey. others may disagree slightly on the exact terminology. i just think it’s torture, pure and simple. i can only be referring to the law school application process, of course. nothing to report on yet, but i do not doubt there will be more to come on this subject.

probably the more exciting of the recent events, however, would include the procurement of several small, furry animals. i’m not much for animals, as anyone can tell, but the new house/boyfriend came furnished with one. after warming up to said cat, i decided she was lonely and needed a playmate (read: i was insanely jealous that i did not have a kitten i had raised from very small). we got another cat, i had a dream about naming her, and that was that.

still, i find it even more amazing that i have managed to live down here for over a year. i’ve only experienced a few sleepless nights, where i imagine cockroaches are crawling the walls of my house, but they still exist. and yet i still exist. incomprehensible, i know.

as unbelievable as it may seem, the cats, too, understand the unsettling nature of these creatures. put a lizard in the living room, a billion-ipede in the kitchen, neither cat will fail to take notice. a whole production of stalk and chase and pounce will invariably ensue. put a cockroach in the living room, even the younger, naïve-r of the two will move out of a palmetto’s path.

and yet still, the coexistence of cockroach and man (read: me) remains one of life’s mysteries.

last week, i actually squished a lizard with my bare hands (read: lightly squeezed a malnourished, dying, microscopic gecko inside half a roll of paper towel) because it was in my way. i mean, really, what else was i supposed to do? i needed to get something from one of the many boxes i have still yet to unpack and he was not moving from the top of it.

i was later informed not to kill the lizards because they eat the bugs. must be karma, because a few days later i strolled into the apartment after a long, hard day at the office only to find the apartment crawling with bugs (read: there was one dead palmetto in the corner). silly south florida with all its crazy animals.

on another note, i visited the keys this past weekend and touched animals on purpose. i don’t actually have photographic proof, but i do have someone to vouch for me if necessary. in any event, i went to what we’ll just refer to as the local watering hole for fishers and tourists alike and threw small fish off a dock into water teeming with giant man-eating monstrosities called tarpon. one nearly took my foot off after i mistakenly hung it over the edge of the dock. the brochures tell me that tarpon are “acrobatic.” i just call them huge and scary. i also screamed like a little girl as a two year old next to me giggled and stuck his face over the edge.

fun fact: tarpon do not have teeth.

as of twelve days ago, i am officially a resident of fort lauderdale, florida. i threw everything i owned (read: some of what i owned. who am i kidding, i had to ship over two hundred pounds of stuff via ups) into my beloved yaris and drove the one thousand thirty-three miles from my previous place of employment to this wonderfully hot place. some might even call it paradise. i must admit, i had only previously thought about coming this far south on vacation.

it was strange at first, what with it being ninety-five degrees outside and all, but i’ve managed to become quickly acclimated. in fact, just this weekend i made the journey back home to iowa and found myself shivering and needing to wear a big puffy jacket after the sun went down. i’m pretty sure it was still like sixty degrees outside.

for now, i am spending my time apartment searching and figuring out how to make friends in this strange place. oh yes, and i am working.

side note: palmetto bugs are not in fact in any way, shape or form cute. don’t let the name fool you. they are giant cockroaches, and this i will not get used to.

life, boys, sex, food and wine were all topics of discussion. we also secretly, or not so secretly, were spying on the cute italian waiter. after our discussion of, and frustration with, the lack of men in our lives, and the realization of our situation being played out as a real life satc episode, there was only one thing left to do. yes, i left my business card (being the only one with an actual card) for the waiter with a note on the back telling him to “call us if he’d like to join the party after dinner.”

i’ve yet to decide whether or not this was a wise move on my part. fortunately (or unfortunately, as far as my friends were concerned) he never called.

immediately following episode…no, i’m just kidding, i don’t follow it that closely. but seriously, i’ve heard this song on that show now, what, three times? and it gets me every time. until i actually went searching for the name of the song, i didn’t even realize it had anything to do with not wanting to dance. i don’t know about anyone else, but all i wanted to do was dance! if there was one thing that song makes me want to do, it definitely is dance–how interesting–that’s exactly what they’re telling me i don’t want to do…

this, to much of my readers’ disappointment, will mostly be musings of the terribly interesting life i lead’s events. i will, however, from time to time post concerning issues or topics i feel particularly passionate about, albeit humorous. feel free to debate me on any of said topics.

so sit back, relax and enjoy the show, er, something?

amber and ashley in, well, the city.